Empty Kettle

A Still More Glorious Dawn Awaits.

2009-09-29T13:51:00.017-05:00

Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking have always had my interest and respect. Now, coming back to them after spending time in seminary and working in ministry, I see this.

What an amazing eschatology these two have. Here are the lyrics and comments from the creator.

A musical tribute to two great men of science. Carl Sagan and his cosmologist companion Stephen Hawking present: A Glorious Dawn - Cosmos remixed. Almost all samples and footage taken from Carl Sagan's Cosmos and Stephen Hawking's Universe series.

Lyrics:

[Sagan]
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch
You must first invent the universe

Space is filled with a network of wormholes
You might emerge somewhere else in space
Some when-else in time

The sky calls to us
If we do not destroy ourselves
We will one day venture to the stars

A still more glorious dawn awaits
Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way

The Cosmos is full beyond measure of elegant truths
Of exquisite interrelationships
Of the awesome machinery of nature

I believe our future depends powerfully
On how well we understand this cosmos
In which we float like a mote of dust
In the morning sky

But the brain does much more than just recollect
It inter-compares, it synthesizes, it analyzes
it generates abstractions

The simplest thought like the concept of the number one
Has an elaborate logical underpinning
The brain has it's own language
For testing the structure and consistency of the world

[Hawking]
For thousands of years
People have wondered about the universe
Did it stretch out forever
Or was there a limit

From the big bang to black holes
From dark matter to a possible big crunch
Our image of the universe today
Is full of strange sounding ideas

[Sagan}
How lucky we are to live in this time
The first moment in human history
When we are in fact visiting other worlds

The surface of the earth is the shore of the cosmic ocean
Recently we've waded a little way out
And the water seems inviting!

"lower case, Upper Case" - Sermon for Project Renewal 9-19

2009-09-22T17:01:00.001-05:00

I preached this sermon during a worship service for a group called Project Renewal. It is a group that bring folks with disabilities together for worship, lunch, Bible study and friendship. The scripture that was read is Romans 8:16-39.

This is the first sermon I've written and presented.

"lower case, Upper Case" - 9/19/09

I have good news! I realize it is in my job description to have The Good News. But this is a bit different. This is good news in lower case. My wife and I are expecting our first child in March! Now deciding to have a child is frequently a difficult decision. But for Mary and me, it was even more complicated. I have a genetic disorder called Marfan’s Syndrome. It is a connective tissue disorder that affects every system of the body. It is autosomal dominant, which means that there is a 50-50 chance our child will have it. It is a leap of faith for us to decide to have a child whose future health is decided by the same odds as a coin-flip.
Marfan’s is a serious condition. As I said, it affects every system of the body and it affects every person differently. For me, the most problematic part is that Marfan’s can affect the structure of blood vessels; Most at risk, is the aorta, the artery that attaches to the heart and which carries all of the blood to the rest of the body. To keep it strong, the aorta is encased in connective tissue, sort of like a garden hose with a hard outer casing and a softer lining. In people with Marfan’s this connective tissue is weaker than normal. This causes weak spots that can lead to a tearing of the inner lining (called a dissection) or even a total rupture. In 1994, my aortic arch ruptured. By the grace of God and expert medical care, I survived.
I was working behind the counter at a small electronics store in St. Louis, were I was living at the time. I was talking to a customer and I bent over to pick up an owners manual, in order to explain something to her. As I bent over, I felt like somebody had punched me in the throat. No pain really, just a pop. Then everything went black. I went to the hospital. I had surgery immediately. Recovery from this kind of surgery is long, difficult and frequently incomplete. It was a few weeks before I could walk any distance at all. It was over 2 months before I could drive. I was prescribed a permanent and daily dose of blood thinners that complicates everything from the food I eat to dentist appointments, to say nothing of further surgery. I was almost fully recovered when, a year to the day, I had another emergency room visit that led to another surgery. Another year of recovery and I was able to function somewhat normally.
Since those surgeries in 1994 and 1995, I have had 4 others on my aorta. Actually, six years ago today, I had surgery to almost completely replace it. I’ve also had numerous other procedures for Marfan’s related issues; the most recent was just six months ago.
So, why am I telling you this? I certainly don’t have a monopoly on health issues; especially not in this room. I’m telling you because having this history is really the only way I feel like I can say anything to you about the love of God amid suffering. It frustrates me to no end when good-intentioned folk try to offer reassurances when it is clear that they have no understand of what chronic illness is about. Especially professional theologians who write about suffering from academic ivory towers, or preachers in expensive suits who clearly don’t get it.
However, there are some professional theologians who understand suffering and have their own dramatic stories. Jurgen Moltmann is one. I recently had the good fortune to meet him when he spoke at Garrett-Evangelical Seminary’s academic convocation. I already knew his story from reading his books, but it was much more moving to hear him personally recount the story of his conscription into the German army in WW II and how he watched his hometown of Hamburg burn to the ground as a result of the Allied bombing campaign. Professor Moltmann eventually found himself in the forests of Belgium where he surrendered and became an English Prisoner of War. He ended up in a labor camp in Kilmarnock, Scotland. He plunged into despair as he learned for the first time about the systematic murder that took place in Nazi concentration camps. But it was also at this point when he received a Bible. It was his first encounter with scripture. He was struck immediately by the Psalms of lament. He discovered that not only was it permissible to rail at God, the Bible actually gives us a way to do it! Even more dramatic though, was Professor Moltmann’s reaction to the story of the Passion of Christ. As he read the words, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” Moltmann thought “now, here is one who understands me!”
Moltmann’s encounter with the crucifixion came comparatively late in life. Many of us have been taught from childhood that Christ died to save us. We see it on t-shirts and bumper stickers that we are “Saved by the blood of Christ”. It is unfortunate that this truth has become a soundbite. I imagine that the use of these slogans is in many cases more of a shot across the bow in the so called Culture Wars than a real theological statement. Perhaps it is the politically charged rhetoric that some use, perhaps it is the gruesome reality of crucifixion. Perhaps it is for other reasons, but many have turned away from discussing the story of Christ’s painful and bloody death. It doesn’t take much imagination to realize that crucifixion was a lousy way to die.
But, No matter how disturbing or controversial the story of Christ’s painful death is, it is crucial in understanding the scriptures like the passage from Romans we heard earlier. Christ’s death has much to say about suffering in our own lives. Many of the world’s greatest theologians have tried to explain the existence of suffering and how we, as Christians should respond to it.
Allow me to briefly outline the tradition this way: St. Augustine, in his discussion of the Psalms, expresses concern that we not grieve for our pain too much. It might show a lack of faith and is a preoccupation with the world when we should be concerned with higher things. We should understand that any suffering that we experience has a purpose, and as Augustine writes “it’s purpose is that the flame of our own desire for God may burn into a brighter blaze.” This may be wonderful theologically, and is appropriate for his time and place, but I can imagine the response Augustine might get if he said something like that to you folks.
Martin Luther is slightly more helpful. He says that grieving is understandable and God wants us to be able to do so, but in the end he really only disagrees with Augustine by a matter of degrees. God wants us to be able to grieve, just not too much.
John Calvin discusses suffering through the lens of predestination by writing that “all adversities proceed from God’s hand.” Calvin redeems suffering explaining that it is part of the divine. Pain is as much a part of life as is pleasure. Again, helpful academically, but unfortunately, well meaning people incorrectly invoke Calvin saying such things as “This must be all part of God’s plan.”
Now, these ideas were ground breaking and probably helpful in their own time and context. But things have changed greatly since when Calvin, the most recent of these three wrote in the 16th century. The modern theologian Karl Barth discusses the miracle of The Cross by saying that Christ’s death is a victory over sin and death. I think Barth is getting closer to something very helpful. We also know that he initially posited this idea during a funeral sermon for his son, who had been killed in an accident a few days earlier. Clearly, Barth knows something about suffering.
Building upon Barth is Jürgen Moltmann. In his book The Way of Jesus Christ, Moltmann writes, “At the centre of Christian faith is the history of Christ. At the centre of the history of Christ is his passion and his death on the Cross.” This is echoed in the comments he made to my seminary colleagues a week ago when while telling the story of his first reading of the Bible he said that, “Christ became (his) brother in suffering.”
But for many of us, God still seems remote. So, how do we bridge the gap? How can we be comforted by God? One way is in community, by coming together as you have today with similarly situated friends. Another way is through prayer and the rituals of the church.
Since my first surgery in ’94 and ’95, I have had numerous others. But, the most extensive and serious was in April of 2008. The most powerful example of the power of prayer and ritual I have ever experienced occurred during the bleakest point of my recovery from that surgery.
Before I had surgery, I told my wife Mary that if things got bad and I was very sick, the UMC Book of Worship had a wonderful service that might make the family feel better. Initially things went well, but after a few days, my condition worsened. I spent 4 weeks in Intensive care on a ventilator. I became so sick and was having such trouble breathing that the doctors decided to perform a tracheotomy. The doctors then told my family that it might be months before I was well enough to walk out of the hospital if, in fact, I ever recovered that well at all.
My parents’ pastor, Rev. Alex Hendrickson, agreed to perform the ceremony at my bedside. She even had an anointing balm that she had gotten on a recent trip to Jerusalem. I remember that my whole family, including Mary’s parents and older sister, were arrayed about my hospital bed. They laid their hands on me. Rev. Hendrickson took the balm and made the sign of the cross on my forehead. I remember feeling a wonderful warmth come over my body and a sensation of light going through me, piercing my chest and going skyward. I could actually feel the light! It was a feeling I had not felt before but somehow, I knew exactly what it was. I hesitate to name it for fear of minimizing it, somehow limiting it. It is indescribable, impossible to understand, but I think most call it the Holy Spirit.
Now, despite being in seminary and being a candidate for ordination, I am a bit of a skeptic. I realize that I was heavily medicated. Prior to and after this experience I was having hallucinations. But I remember vividly that everyone in that room was in tears. They all felt something too.
Again, I don’t recommend relying on faith to cure disease. I’m a big fan of doctors and am in awe of their skill. I believe it is important to pray but believing that prayer can cure disease is a theological slippery slope that I’m not willing to tread on. But having said that, the prayers of my family and friends were heard. While I’m not willing to say that I was cured by prayer and by the anointing with oil, they made me and the ones I love feel closer to God in their time of greatest loneliness and despair.
So, The Good News. And this time I mean The Good News in capital letters.
The Good News is that God gets it. God is not a clockmaker who set the world in motion and has gone away. God became human knowing that pain, limitedness, sorrow and grief waited. God became Christ knowing that Christ’s death would be painful and bloody. God knew Christ’s friends would betray him and God knew that Christ ultimately would be abandoned.
But God also knew that ultimately God in Christ would be raised from the dead. God knew that his death and resurrection would give us hope that someday we too will overcome our grief and our sorrow and our anger and our pain.
As Paul wrote,
I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Truly, this is one who understands us.
Amen.

"imagining and constructing a church that incoporates the whole human family"

2009-08-25T16:22:00.001-05:00

"Until white people recognize their own ethnicity, they will continue to be trapped in a taken-for-granted world in which they think of their own ways as normative and everyone else as an aberration. They thus will have no perspective from which to tell their own story or name their cultural strengths and needs. This unreflective condition not only drains away the vitality of their congregational life, it also makes them poor partners in imagining and constructing a church that incoporates the whole human family."

Frank, Thomas Edward. "Polity, Practice and the Mission of the United Methodist Church", Abingdon, 2007 p. 96

I was reading this book as I catch up on overdue work for Dr. Crain. Don't worry Dr Crain! I'm making progress on my paper!!! And don't worry Dr. Hogue, I'm getting to your stuff too!!! ;-)

This quote caught my eye. It is a powerful reminder that white people have a heritage too. The world is not made up of us and everybody else. When we forget this it is not only a detriment to those against whom we discriminate, but it is a detriment to our story as well.

I recently had a brief and somewhat heated discussion (on Facebook) with a high school classmate who is now a UMC Elder serving a church downstate. He was displeased with ELCA's recent decision allowing homosexual people in long term relationships to be ordained. He passionately believes that homosexuality is a sin. Ergo those living unrepentantly in a condition of sin should not be ordained. This conversation unnerved me quite a bit (until I was soothed by three amazing women, thanks Elaine, Alex and Mary!) But I've still been thinking about it. Now I've come across the quotation above and I started to wonder, would the above quotation apply if we changed to language from ethnicity to sexuality? With apologies to Professor Frank, it might read something like this:
"Until -straight- people recognize their own -sexuality-, they will continue to be trapped in a taken-for-granted world in which they think of their own ways as normative and everyone else as an aberration."
I'm not sure I'm willing to say that opposition to ordination of LGBTQ people is an "unreflective condition." But I am sure that it "makes them poor partners in imagining and constructing a church that incoporates the whole human family."

Thoughts?

Rev. Joseph Lowery's Benediction ~ A Capstone

2009-01-22T14:27:00.000-06:00

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand -- true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.

We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.

For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.

We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.

And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.

And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.

Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.

We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.

Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around -(laughter)- when yellow will be mellow -(laughter)- when the red man can get ahead, man -(laughter)- and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.

AUDIENCE: Amen!

REV. LOWERY: Say amen --

AUDIENCE: Amen!

REV. LOWERY: -- and amen.

AUDIENCE: Amen! (Cheers, applause.)

END.

Transcript courtesy Federal News Service
http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2009/01/rev_lowery_inauguration_benedi.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pEH37JIgBU

Evangelicalism.

2009-01-09T10:51:00.002-06:00

Brett over at The Hendricksonians
did a book review that brought up a question I've though about on and off. Here are my comments about his post:

We need to come up with a better word. For most of the political left, including devout Christians, "Evangelical" has become a dirty word. This is unfortunate. Aren't, or at least shouldn't, all Christians be evangelical? Is that pretty much the job description? At the very minimum it is for us clergy types. We are called to evangelize. Just as the Pro-Life movement has claimed the linguistic high ground, (Is it possible to be anti-life?)the 'old-time religion' types have taken a very important word and used it in a very narrow way, thus giving it a connotation that excludes many of the people it should include. Can we redeem Evangelicalism? should we come up with a better word? Delwin Brown has a great book called "What does a Progressive Christian Believe" that discusses this. I'm not certain I like the word Progressive. Thoughts?

So? What do you think?

Support Peace in the Holy Land, Urge President-elect Obama to take action

2009-01-08T14:36:00.001-06:00

I have just added my name to an ecumenical Christian letter to President-elect Obama and am writing you to encourage you to do the same. American Christian leaders and congregants of the Catholic, Evangelical, Orthodox and Protestant traditions have joined together to pray for the peace of Jerusalem and urge President-elect Obama to make Israeli-Palestinian peace an immediate priority of his Administration.

You can support this Christian Call for Holy Land Peace by adding your name to the ecumenical letter that has been signed by Christian leaders and congregants from across the nation. Visit http://www.cmep.org/letter to sign the letter and join your fellow American Christians in supporting vigorous U.S. diplomatic efforts to secure a just and lasting two-state solution.

To view the letter and a list of the national Christian leaders signatories, and to add you name, go to http://www.cmep.org/letter.

The last day to add your name is January 16, 2009. The letter signed by national Christian leaders was sent to the Obama transition team on December 1, 2008. The final letter signed by leaders and congregants will be delivered to President Obama during the time of inauguration. Please stand with those calling for peace in Holy Land by adding your name today at http://www.cmep.org/letter.

Better Days

2009-01-06T16:26:00.009-06:00

I'm supposed to be working on a paper, but I'm thinking about CPE, Israel hitting a school and killing children and the unbridled joy of my friends Ross and Amanda's new baby. Then this came on.

(there's)something only you can give
And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And it's one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

Rick Warren's Invocation at the Inaguration

2008-12-18T10:23:00.002-06:00

I wrote a letter to the President elect and posted it before I had a chance to copy it for posting here. It is probably obvious what it said. I wish he would have picked someone else. Perhaps Martin Marty or even Ken Vaux, a professor at G-ETS who advised the President-elect during the election. But, he picked Rev. Warren. Here is some info I picked up from a Facebook group. I urge everyone to write to voice their disapproval. Even if you don't support gay-marriage, I think you might agree that Pastor Warren's linkage of gay marriage with incest and polygamy is a bit too extreme.

Here's the text from the Facebook page:

Divisive, homophobic Saddleback Church minister Rick Warren has been invited to give President Elect Obama's inaugural invocation.

HERE'S WHAT HE HAS TO SAY ON GAY UNIONS:
Rick Warren: But the issue to me is, I’m not opposed to that as much as I’m opposed to the redefinition of a 5,000-year definition of marriage. I’m opposed to having a brother and sister be together and call that marriage. I’m opposed to an older guy marrying a child and calling that a marriage. I’m opposed to one guy having multiple wives and calling that marriage.

Steven Waldman: Do you think, though, that they are equivalent to having gays getting married?

Rick Warren: Oh I do.

DOES THIS REPRESENT THE CHANGE YOU VOTED FOR? DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE INCLUDED IN THIS SYMBOLIC DAY OF NEW BEGINNINGS? YOU CAN TAKE ACTION RIGHT NOW:

1. CALL 202-540-3000 , press "2," speak with a live person

2. SEND a letter letting the transition team know what you think here http://change.gov/page/content/contact, and

3. EMAIL Parag Mehta, Obama's LGBT liaison on the transition team at parag.mehta@ptt.gov.

Hello readers!

2008-12-03T12:52:00.001-06:00

I'm finishing up papers for my second to last full semester of MA studies at G-ETS. I'm pondering my future. Employment? More School? Something in between? One of my final papers is on my theology of suffering. I'll post some of it here for your reading pleasure.

In the meantime. Grace and Peace to you and enjoy this:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

READ THIS TOO!!!!!!!

2008-10-30T09:03:00.001-05:00

Here's the link.

Here's the text:

James Dobson’s ‘Letter From 2012 in Obama’s America’

by Jim Wallis 10-29-2008

James Dobson, you owe America an apology. The fictional letter released through your Focus on the Family Action organization, titled “Letter From 2012 in Obama’s America”, crosses all lines of decent public discourse. In a time of utter political incivility, it shows the kind of negative Christian leadership that has become so embarrassing to so many of your fellow Christians in America. We are weary of this kind of Christian leadership, and that is why so many are forsaking the Religious Right in this election.

This letter offers nothing but fear. It apocalyptically depicts terrorist attacks in American cities, churches losing their tax exempt status for not allowing gay marriages, pornography pushed in front of our children, doctors and nurses forced to perform abortions, euthanasia as commonplace, inner-city crime gone wild because of lack of gun ownership, home schooling banned, restricted religious speech, liberal censorship shutting down conservative talk shows, Christian publishers forced out of business, Israel nuked, power blackouts because of environmental restrictions, brave Christian resisters jailed by a liberal Supreme court, and finally, good Christian families emigrating to Australia and New Zealand.

It is shocking how thoroughly biblical teachings against slander—misrepresentations that damage another’s reputation—are ignored (Ephesians 4:29-31, Colossians 3:8, Titus 3:2). Such outrageous predictions not only damage your credibility, they slander Barack Obama who, you should remember, is a brother in Christ, and they insult any Christian who might choose to vote for him.

Let me make this clear: Christians will be voting both ways in this election, informed by their good faith, and based on their views of what are the best public policies and direction for America. But in utter disrespect for the prayerful discernment of your fellow Christians, this letter stirs their ugliest fears, appealing to their worst impulses instead of their best.

Fear is the clear motivator in the letter; especially fear that evangelical Christians might vote for Barack Obama. The letter was very revealing when it suggested that “younger Evangelicals” became the “swing vote” that elected Obama and the results were catastrophic.

You make a mistake when you assume that younger Christians don’t care as much as you about the sanctity of life. They do care—very much—but they have a more consistent ethic of life. Both broader and deeper, it is inclusive of abortion, but also of the many other assaults on human life and dignity. For the new generation, poverty, hunger, and disease are also life issues; creation care is a life issue; genocide, torture, the death penalty, and human rights are life issues; war is a life issue. What happens to poor children after they are born is also a life issue.

The America you helped vote into power has lost its moral standing in the world, and even here at home. The America you told Christians to vote for in past elections is now an embarrassment to Christians around the globe, and to the children of your generation of evangelicals. And the vision of America that you still tell Christians to vote for is not the one that many in a new generation of Christians believes expresses their best values and convictions.

Christians should be committed to the kingdom of God, not the kingdom of America, and the church is to live an alternative existence of love and justice, offering a prophetic witness to politics. Elections are full of imperfect choices where we all seek to what is best for the “common good” by applying the values of our faith as best we can.

Dr. Dobson, you of course have the same right as every Christian and every American to vote your own convictions on the issues you most care about, but you have chosen to insult the convictions of millions of other Christians, whose own deeply held faith convictions might motivate them to vote differently than you. This epistle of fear is perhaps the dying gasp of a discredited heterodoxy of conservative religion and conservative politics. But out of that death, a resurrection of biblical politics more faithful to the whole gospel—one that is truly good news—might indeed be coming to life.

VOTE SMART

2008-10-25T10:39:00.000-05:00

There are several very important issues on the Illinois ballot that I urge you to look into before you vote.

1. The ballot initiative to redo the Illinois State Constitution.

You can find arguments Pro and Con here: http://www.lwvil.org/ConCon.asp

I am very much against it for several reasons.

1. The potential benefits are outweighed by the cost.

a. The State is already in a deficit why spend more on this?

b. Even if the State had the money, couldn’t we spend it in other places? Like education, poverty elimination programs…?

2. The issues that will be addressed by the “Con-Con” can be and in many cases are being addressed through legislation.

3. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

a. We have our problems, but they are not Constitutional ones!

2. Judicial appointments

In Illinois, our Judges are elected. It is a long and tedious process in the ballot box. As a former litigation paralegal, I can tell you that having qualified judges on the bench is critical to the judicial process. It is very important to know for whom you are voting! However, researching each individual judge would be impossible. Each year, I use the ISBA’s guide. You can find it here: http://www.isba.org/judicialevaluations/cook/12.asp

(This is for Evanston only. For the rest of Illinois, go here: http://www.isba.org/judicialevaluations/index.html

Print it out and take it into the voting booth with you!

Be an educated voter. The Tribune Website has a wonderful website that allows you to see the ballot before you go in the voting booth. Use it! You can find it on their homepage here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/

READ THIS!!!!!!!

2008-10-22T16:12:00.001-05:00

Every American should read this.

I got this from UMC-GBCS

2008-10-20T21:46:00.000-05:00

An Urgent Plea to Clergy to Petition to Save Troy Davis' Life
Dear Jay,

Troy Davis is scheduled to be executed by the state of Georgia on October 27 at 7 pm, even though serious claims of innocence have never been heard in court.

Clergy can take action today and sign a petition that encourages Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue to prevent this execution. If you are clergy, or if you can urge your pastor to sign the letter (shown below), please contact Brian Evans with Amnesty International who is collecting the information. Brian's email is bevans@aiusa.org and his phone number is 202-544-0200, ext. 496. Please include your name, title, church name, mailing address, phone number, and email address. Please act now as the deadline for signing on is October 23rd.

Be sure to spread this to friends, family, and fellow church members to help spare Troy Davis' life.

About Troy Davis

Troy Davis was convicted of murder solely on the basis of testimony by witnesses. Seven of the nine non-police witnesses have since recanted or changed their testimony, with several implicating possible police coercion. However, due to an increasingly restrictive appeals process, none of this new evidence has ever been heard in court. You can find out more about Troy Davis here.

Clergy Letter to Governor Perdue

Dear Governor Perdue,

We the undersigned clergy write to you as the chief political leader of your state. As leaders in our respective faith communities, we all find within our teachings a divine directive to support justice in the world and to uphold the sacredness of life. As Governor, you too bear a responsibility to support and promote justice for the people of Georgia. As such, our faith compels us to share with you our concern for Troy Anthony Davis, who faces execution by the state of Georgia on behalf of its citizens.

Almost twenty years ago, a police officer was tragically murdered in Savannah. We are deeply troubled that an innocent man may be executed for this awful crime. Should the state of Georgia carry out the execution of Troy Davis on October, 27, it is possible that justice will be denied for both Davis and Officer Mark Allen MacPhail.

We are distressed by the inability of the appeals courts to provide a hearing or new trial to examine evidence that Troy Davis did not murder Mark MacPhail. We are distressed that in a case based solely on witness testimony the unprecedented number of witness recantations has not impressed the courts enough to re-examine the case. We are distressed that the appeals process has become so restrictive that the bar for proving innocence has become virtually unattainable. Finality and procedure must never be deemed of higher importance than questions of innocence and truth in the pursuit of justice, especially when human life is at stake.

In 2005, despite his feeling that Robin Lovitt was guilty of murder, enough doubts emerged to suggest his innocence so that Governor Mark Warner of Virginia commuted the sentence of death to life in order to prevent the possibility of a wrongful execution. The Georgia State Board of Pardons and Paroles has the same option. Questions of innocence in the Davis case have not been resolved in a court of law. Such questions weigh very heavily on our hearts. Commuting Davis's sentence to life would affirm the principle that doubt is not acceptable in the application of a system that irreversibly takes human life.

We are aware that executive clemency power in Georgia rests in the hands of the State Board of Pardons and Paroles. We are also aware that the board acts on behalf of the executive branch of government and is a governor-appointed body. We believe that the reputation of your state is on the line. The faith Georgia citizens have in the justice system is also on the line. We believe you have tremendous influence and moral authority as the leader of your state. We pray that you will ask God for guidance on how best to use the prestige of your office to ensure that a terrible, but preventable, tragedy does not befall your state on October 27.

Yours truly,

[List of endorsers]

Thank you for taking action. The barbarity of the death penalty must be abolished, but until we achieve universal abolition we must work to save every life.

In Christ,

Bill Mefford
Director, United Methodists Against the Death Penalty

Wow.

2008-10-17T15:25:00.002-05:00

FROM THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE EDITORIAL BOARD

Tribune endorsement: Barack Obama for president

RIP Ophelia

2008-10-07T09:46:00.001-05:00

A friend's cat died recently. Another friend sent me this. I thought I'd share it in honor of Ophelia and her owner.

Purring" by Coleman Barks

The internet says science is not sure
how cats purr, probably
a vibration of the whole larynx,
unlike what we do when we talk.

Less likely, a blood vessel
moving across the chest wall.

As a child I tried to make every cat I met
purr. That was one of the early miracles,
the stroking to perfection.

Here is something I have never heard:
a feline purrs in two conditions,
when deeply content and when
mortally wounded, to calm themselves,
readying for the death-opening.

The low frequency evidently helps
to strengthen bones and heal
damaged organs.

Say poetry is a human purr,
vessel mooring in the chest,
a closed-mouthed refuge, the feel
of a glide through dying.

One winter morning on a sunny chair,
inside this only body,
a far-off inboard motorboat
sings the empty room, urrrrrrrhhhh
urrrrrrrhhhhh
urrrrrrrhhhh

"Purring" by Coleman Barks from Winter Sky: New and Selected Poems,
1968–2008. (c) University of Georgia Press, 2008

The Carillon

2008-10-02T21:37:00.003-05:00

Here is this month's Carillon. The final version of my piece is on page 2. I'm not terribly happy about the title. I didn't get to write it. Click on the image to get to it.

2008-09-17T10:16:00.003-05:00

I've been asked to write a piece for our Church newsletter about my recent surgery. My instructions were:
1. Take us through your experience.
2. Do it in 600 words or less
3. Can I have it by Friday?

yeesh!

Luckily, I had some time come free yesterday. (It happened right after I got the call asking if I could do this. That sort of thing spurs an entire other conversation...) So, here it is, very much in un-edited form. I Welcome your comments. Feel free to correct my memory of events and to comment on my writing. I'll post a link to the final copy when it gets published.

When Roy Larson offered me this space to discuss the adventure of the past few months, I was surprised and honored. Primarily, I was pleased. I am pleased that I have been given an opportunity to thank you, the community of The Temple for your prayers and support over these past months. Thanks to Rev. Blackwell’s mention of me during the services, many of you know that I had major surgery. What you probably don’t know is that this is my fifth surgery to repair my aorta. I have a genetic disorder called Marfan’s Syndrome which is a connective tissue disorder that affects every system of the body. Most dramatically, it can affect the structure of the aorta, causing weak spots that can lead to a tearing of the inner lining (called a dissection) or even a total rupture. In 1994, my aortic arch ruptured. By the grace of God and expert medical care, I survived. Over the intervening years, I have had 4 more surgeries, but none has been extensive as the one this spring and never have I been as close to death.

Obviously, everyone was very worried. My family, friends and colleagues at Garrett- Evangelical had me on their churches’ prayer chain; I had all my bases covered, Catholics, Presbyterians, Baptists and yes, more than a few Methodists, AME, UMC and all our Methodist family were lifting us in prayer. Knowing this was a great help, it helped all of us feel less alone.

One of the most powerful examples of the power of prayer occurred during the bleakest point of my recovery. I was having such trouble breathing that the doctors decided to perform a tracheotomy. I remember very little, I was very sick and sedated. The doctors had told my family that it might be months before I was well enough to walk out of the hospital if, in fact, I ever recovered that well at all.

Before I had surgery, my wife Mary and I were making the arrangements that anyone facing a medical procedure should: power of attorney, living will etc. I told Mary that if things got bad and I was very sick, the UMC Book of Worship had a wonderful service that might make the family feel better. Mary had been in contact with my friends at seminary. Barb faxed it to my parents’ pastor, Rev. Alex Hendrickson, who, being Presbyterian didn’t have access to it. She agreed to perform the ceremony at my bedside. She even had an anointing balm that she had gotten on a recent trip to Jerusalem.

I remember that my whole family, including Mary’s parents and older sister, were arrayed about my hospital bed. They laid their hands on me. Rev. Hendrickson started the service. Despite not being able to speak very well, I mouthed the words with her. She took the balm and made the sign of the cross on my forehead. I remember feeling a wonderful warmth come over my body and a sensation of light going through me, piercing my chest and going skyward. I could actually feel the light! It was a feeling I had not felt before but somehow, I knew exactly what it was. I hesitate to name it for fear of minimizing it, somehow limiting it. It is indescribable, impossible to understand, but I think most call it the Holy Spirit.

Now, despite being in seminary and being a candidate for ordination, I am a bit of a skeptic. I don’t recommend relying on faith to cure disease. I’m a big fan of doctors and am in awe of their skill. I believe it is important to pray but believing that prayer can cure disease is a theological slippery slope that I’m not willing to tread on. But having said that, your prayers and the prayers of the churches of my family, friends and colleagues were heard. While I’m not wiling to say that I was cured by prayer and by the anointing with oil, they made me and the ones I love feel closer to God in their time of greatest loneliness and despair, and it is for your part in that miracle that I can never thank you enough.

Question of the day

2008-09-11T10:54:00.000-05:00

It seems at this point of our study of Christology we are emphasizing the difference between Christ’s salvific nature and the Biblical story of Jesus’ works and sayings. Could Christ have died for our sins if Jesus had not done the things that led him to be used as a "moral example." In other words, if we are saved by His death, must we pay attention to his actions and statements? Is the Sermon on the Mount advisory or declarative?

It's only the second week of class and already my brain is broken!

Jesus was a community organizer, Pilate was a Governor

2008-09-10T08:33:00.002-05:00

This sound bite has been floating around the 'net in response to Governor Palin's snarky and mean spirited comment about Senator Obama's service. I'll not rehash that discussion as it is pretty easy to find. My friend in life and all things Internet Winston had an interesting discussion on a blog about it.

He asked for my thoughts. I thought I'd put them here. I wrote this in the comments section of his blog, so the parenthetical comments are directly to him, I leave them so you can be overwhelmed by my sense of humor!

Interesting conversation. I think both of you had excellent points and I agree and disagree with both of you in just about equal measure. (Of course, you “win” you’re my best friend!!!!)

First. It’s proper title is The Revelation of God to John. So, in discourse it should be referred to as Revelation or The Revelation, not Revelations. (Just a little pet peeve of mine. and of course my NT professors)

As far as the meat of the argument, Jesus was a community organizer… is a wonderful sound bite. (That joke killed at seminary! What was the origin? John Stewart?) However, it is perhaps not entirely, technically correct. Organizing a community was probably not his primary mission on earth. I’m not sure what Jesus’ primary mission was. It isn’t possible to know what it is as Josepus is the only historian who even mentions a rabble rousing Jew in Jerusalem around the time in question and even he gets his info. thirdhand! Any argument about the historical Jesus, what he did or who he was, is a bit absurd because there is no way to determine who is right. Remember, the Gospels were written after everyone who had actually seen Jesus was already dead!

Now, it is possible to read the text and draw out of it, as you did, that Jesus was a community organizer. And that is fine, you can find things to support that argument, as you did very well. (I love it when you get accused of ignorance of the Bible!) To get that out of the text is, to my mind (as a Christian theologian), to miss the point. As my Christology professor Dr. Stephen Ray would say, you are reading the text as if it were a travelogue. The Bible does not exist to tell us about some first century rabble rousing Jew named Jesus who went around healing people etc. The Scripture is there so that we may understand the primary mission of CHRIST! What is important is that God so loved the world that he became incarnate in Christ! (Can I get an Amen?) And that’s what “Duane” was arguing. So, actually, you two were talking past each other. You were talking about Jesus, he was talking about Christ.
Amen.
/turns to congregation
“now turn in your hymnals to page…

The Purpose Driven blog post

2008-08-22T11:17:00.002-05:00

There is an interesting article in Time magazine this week about Rick Warren. I bought it because I've always been sort of on the fence about him. I have a knee jerk reaction to the word "Evangelical." I have an even more vigorous response to the words "Conservative Christian". As clergy, we all must be "unified in the essentials" and support each other. So, I need to learn to be careful in my public comments about other pastors. We are all on the same team and each is doing God's work. I have a tendency to simply write off anyone who is a conservative. I need to learn to be a bit more open minded about them. I've read a lot about Warren but I've not read any of his stuff so I thought the Time interview with him would be a good opportunity to hear his "voice." Some of my opinions were affirmed some were slightly changed and some remain conflicted. I'm writing this to help to clarify some of those opinions.

First, I still disagree passionately with him on the so called "Life" issues. I remain steadfastly Pro-choice. (We can't know when life actually begins. As Barack Obama says, those questions are above my pay grade. What we do know is that we must protect the lives of those that are here. I'll stop here. Sometime I may further explore my opinions on these issues, but that would take up a whole post.) I'm also an unapologetic Liberal. I think Government can be a wonderful agent for social change. (Again, I'll stop here.) On just about every political issue, I disagree with the so-called "Evangelicals" (I even disagree with that name, but again, that's another post.) But, for the most part, that disagreement is passionate but respectful. (or, at the very least, it should be. I get a little out of hand some time!)

As for Warren himself, I've not read any of his books. (My father, I believe, has so sometime I look forward to his comments.) Warren views church growth as a business. He even compares new churches to McDonalds. That troubles me, I have concerns about that view. (But, if we did more of that, perhaps we wouldn't be in the trouble we are in.) The danger is pretty clear. When we run churches like businesses we lose sight of what is important. If we are overly concerned about growing our congregation, we forget that we exist for only two reasons: Worship and Evangelism.

Now, one might say that Warren is a great evangelist. However, evangelism should not simply be a head count. Many of the "Evangelicals" seem to think that getting people as many people as possible to proclaim "I Love Jesus and he is my Lord and Saviour!" is what it is all about. My initial opinion of Warren was that he was of that stripe. His "Purpose Driven (fill in the blank)" seemed a gimmick to start new congregations, sell books and ultimately, bring in more money. Now, after reading the article, I firmly believe that Warren's heart is in the right place; he wants to bring people to Christ. I'm just not convinced that his motives are completely pure and that his methods are correct. I don't think he is "using" Christianity as a get rich scheme, but perhaps his success has blinded him a bit.

Evangelism is about teaching people what Christ is about. To do that we must show that to people. We must model Christ- like behavior. We must be careful not lose our prophetic voice. We must "speak truth to power." We must to minister to the "least and the lost." Warren trying to do this. He has initiatives in place to provide relief in Africa. But, according to the Time article, there is debate about how well it is working. To me, it almost seems like Warren is more concerned about making the effort rather than those efforts' success. He is great at networking, creating consensus and getting funding for projects. The Time article indicates that Warren's success ends there.

The church should never be all things to all people. Time says his church has 23, 000 members. How do you have that many members without making someone angry? Christ made people angry and uncomfortable. Even, nay especially, The Twelve. I still believe, that despite his good intentions, Warren is overly concerned with a head count above anything else. I think that despite his good intentions and desire to follow Christ, he has gotten carried away with the details and lost sight of the mission. The church should make it's members uncomfortable about how they live their lives and then show a better way. Showing people a better way is the core of evangelism. The difficulty churches face is how to make people uncomfortable and then keep them coming back. There is a balance to be found and having 23,000 members tells me you may not be making enough people uncomfortable.

There are many things about Warren's ministry that are good. I could write about that but that's been pretty well covered elsewhere. I'm not an evangelist. My ministry is about bringing the church to the people. I've been taught to meet people "at the point of their need." Perhaps that colors how I see Warren. I don't think Warren's pre-packaged, franchised approach to Christianity is for me.

M I A

2008-08-17T00:21:00.001-05:00

Sorry. Been on vacation spending time with lovely wife Mo; and watching the Olympics.

I'll be back I promise!

Something Wonderful

2008-07-23T09:44:00.002-05:00

My friend Winston at the Teahouse had this on his site. It is wonderful!!!

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Go to Dancing Matt's site or here for more info on Dancing Matt.

Another one

2008-07-16T08:37:00.003-05:00

Another death by ruptured aorta. Slobodan "Slobo" Ilijevski died Monday. My birthday, oddly. He was 58.

I remember watching this guy play soccer in the '80s. He was a goalie for the indoor soccer team in St. Louis. I remember wanting to buy his jersey. I've always been more attracted to defenders. The glory always goes to those who score goals, runs, or points of any kind. Defense is usually under appreciated. He was so fun to watch. He, and the rest of the Steamers were a part of the reason I love soccer so much.

It is such a strange feeling to read about deaths like this. I mean, there is the obvious grief of reading about the death of someone you remember from your youth. But with a death like this, there is so much more. He died of something I have survived multiple times. Saying "Man, I was lucky" gets really old after a while. The fact that I am still alive is unfathomable. All i can do is shake my head, go get more coffee, and get ready for physical therapy.

Well, that and say a prayer for his family and a prayer of thanksgiving for mine. I am really lucky and chances are, if you are reading this, you are part of my family and I love you very much.

Maybe I'll try to work through more of this later. But for now, Suzanne is coming. Time for PT.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-07-13T14:46:00.001-05:00

I really do have wonderful people in my life. Thanks Beso Mami!

Return to work.

2008-07-09T16:21:00.002-05:00

Well, I went back to work/church today. It was a nice time. I started the day off with Eucharist. Junior Female Pastor prayed over me. I then wandered around the city and ran some errands. When I got back to work/church, I sat in with Junior Male Pastor (JMP) and talked. Now, JMP and I have become pretty close. It is weird to discover that someone that you look up to as a mentor looks up to you too. JMP and I had a long conversation about my recent adventures. Turns out, he was pretty shook up about the whole thing. Of course, the entire staff was, but JMP and I worked together the closest and spent the most time together. He has spent quite a bit of time pastoring sick folk. So, when lovely wife Mo told him how sick I'd gotten, he began to fear the worst. Turns out, that every time my name was mentioned in the staff meetings, everyone sort of held their breath, anticipating the worst. JMP talked to me about how simply surviving such an ordeal was a ministry to him. He told me I was his hero. He talked to me about how he saw such great faith in me; it took great faith to fight the illness. So often, he'd see people who would ask "Pastor, why doesn't God just take me to him? Why does he keep me here?" He told me how it took great faith on my part to fight to come back. Maybe someday I'll understand that comment. I kinda do, but I think I need to sit with it for a while.

So, after lunch, it was time for the noon service. Senior Pastor talked about his vacation; he and his wife went on a cruise to Alaska! Now, to be fair, this was his first vacation in over three years and it also was their 40th anniversary. So, don't start with the "Never trust a pastor with more than two suits" rhetoric. Anyway, after that we went into his office and talked about the ordination process. I won't bore you with the details, but I have a TON of work to do! But the conversation drifted a bit and I told him the story about the healing service in my hospital room. We started discussing it. We also talked about prayer. He asked" what exactly is it that happens?" "How does it work?" Part of me wishes I knew. Another part is glad it remains a holy mystery. Perhaps that's a cop out. If it is, too bad. I'm tired. I had a busy day at church/work today!

Hospital thoughts

2008-07-01T05:05:00.004-05:00

This is part of a larger piece that I am working on. It is a "spiritual biography." Whatever that is... Anyway, when I think part of it might be of interest to a larger audience, I'll put it up here. Feel free to comment. I'd like to know what you think!

My memory tells me the pastor wore a white robe. My wife tells me she wore a pink shirt and slacks. I remember that she was at the head of the bed with my whole family, including in-laws arrayed about my hospital bed, laying their hands on me. My memory is correct about that. They tell me that despite the tube down my throat, I mouthed the words to the service. That doesn’t surprise me; I had done this service before, so I knew it well. What I remember most clearly is the anointing. She had her hands on me, and then she took a balm of some sort and made the sign of the cross on my forehead. I remember feeling a wonderful warmth come over my body and a sensation of light going through me, piercing my chest and going skyward. I could actually feel the light! As it flowed through me and out my chest, it didn’t cause pain, it made me feel better. It was a feeling I had not felt before but somehow, I knew exactly what it was. I hesitate to name it for fear of minimizing it, somehow limiting it. It is indescribable, impossible to understand, but I think most call it the Holy Spirit.

My Friend Jerry

2008-05-22T11:00:00.005-05:00

Rev. Gerald E. Forshey 1932 ~ 2008

Please keep his wife Florence and his family in your prayers. We give thanks for the opportunity to have known Jerry and for the effect he has had on our lives and ministries.

Rest well Jerry. You, of all people, deserve it.

Clergyman strove for social justice
By Trevor Jensen
Chicago Tribune
May 22, 2008

Rev. Gerald E. Forshey, an activist Methodist pastor who regularly questioned church hierarchy and once spent five days in a Mississippi jail for trying to integrate local congregations, was also a film and art scholar who taught in the City Colleges of Chicago.

Rev. Forshey, 75, died of cancer at his La Grange home Saturday, May 17, said his wife, Florence.

Rev. Forshey came to Chicago in 1958 as pastor of Armitage Avenue Methodist Church. He also served a number of Chicago's United Methodist congregations, including as an associate pastor at St. Mark United Methodist Church in the Chatham neighborhood.

In 1963, Rev. Forshey was among 12 people, four of them Chicago-area Methodist ministers, arrested in Jackson, Miss., for trying to lead blacks into three local churches.

"For him, justice was the issue whether it was in the church or on the public square," said Rev. Philip Blackwell, senior pastor of the Chicago Temple.

In the late 1960s, Rev. Forshey was an outspoken member of a group of clergy called the Renewal Caucus that sought to effect change in the Methodist church from within. One offshoot of this group met regularly to consult on appointments made by the church's bishop.

"This group had come to trust each other in a way we did not trust the bureaucracy," said Rev. Martin Deppe, a friend and colleague.

"Within the church, we pushed for a level of flexibility. [Rev. Forshey] was the philosopher, he was the prod, he was the one who made us nervous."

Rev. Forshey's activism covered a breadth of issues as illustrated by the many protest buttons he collected over the years. "ERA, Welfare Rights, Indian Power, Anti-Gambling. Here's one that says, 'I'm not sure why I'm wearing this button,' " his wife said as she looked them over.

The perpetually disheveled Rev. Forshey cut a distinct figure among his fellow ministers. "He was the least genteel Methodist minister I knew," said Roy Larson, former religion editor at the Sun-Times.

Seeking to create a church without walls, Rev. Forshey started the Church of the New City in the 1970s, which met at the University of Illinois at Chicago for a couple of years before disbanding, his wife said.

By this time, he was on his way to a doctorate in the humanities from the University of Chicago and a teaching career. He taught for many years at Malcolm X College and Richard J. Daley College before retiring about 10 years ago.

Rev. Forshey was born in Long Beach, Calif., and grew up in Reno. While at University of California-Los Angeles, he became close to leaders of his Methodist church and decided to join the clergy, getting a master of divinity degree from the Iliff School of Theology in Denver.

A lifelong fan of art, film and opera, he was drawn to Chicago by the local cultural scene, his wife said. Enthralled by metaphor, he wrote his doctoral dissertation on symbolism within cinematic religious spectaculars like "Ben Hur" and "The Ten Commandments" and filled his home with artwork depicting Don Quixote.

Last year, Rev. Forshey led a group on an art appreciation tour of Italy. He could discuss any number of works in great depth and length. "We'd still be there if we hadn't had a co-leader with a watch," said Blackwell, who was on the trip.

"His theology was very deep, a lot had to do with the redemptive nature of our imagination, that we could imagine things could be different," Blackwell said.

In addition to his wife, Rev. Forshey is survived by a brother, Ron.

Visitation is set for 4 to 8 p.m. Saturday at Hitzeman Funeral Home, 9445 W. 31st St., Brookfield. A memorial service will be at 5 p.m. Sunday at First United Methodist Church of Chicago, 77 W. Washington St.

ttjensen@tribune.com

Copyright © 2008, Chicago Tribune

Rest Well, Sir Arthur

2008-03-18T21:13:00.003-05:00

A hero is gone.

http://www.clarkefoundation.org/
http://www.chicagotribune.com/
New York Times

Surgery

2008-03-17T10:00:00.002-05:00

Well, all the maneuvering and changes and uncertainty about dates have taken their toll. LWM and I are exhausted, but, finally, we have a confirmed date. I won't be changing this one. The surgery is Friday. So, I don't imagine I'll be posting much over the next few months. Thanks for your prayers. I'll write more as soon as I can.

I'M READING FICTION!!!!

2008-03-01T11:46:00.001-06:00

WAHOO!

I started The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon. The same guy that wrote the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay My sister would call them "weird" I prefer the term Post Modern. They are both set in a familiar setting, but with an twist. The Yiddish Policean's Union is set in an alternate reality where the Jews have no homeland and have been scattered across the globe. I'm only a chapter in, but it already has my attention.

I'd forgotten that reading could be fun! Not that I don't like reading German theologians...

Update -

2008-02-28T12:34:00.004-06:00

Lots has been going on. My sister's mother in law died after a long illness. I found out I had to have surgery. Mary has set up a Caring Bridge site. It is here

I have to have my aorta redone. When Dr. K replaced most of my aorta in 2003, he left small section of my aorta intact. This was to prevent him from having to reattach all of the intercoastal arteries individually. It would have taken too long and greatly increased the risk of paraplegia. So he just left the section where all of those attached and sewed the whole thing into the graft. Now, that section of native tissue is failing. He wanted to do a minimally invasive procedure six months ago but we found out that the stent-graft wouldn't deploy correctly. So, Dr. K decided to put off surgery as long as possible.

Long story short, it isn't possible anymore. I was originally going to wait until summer vacation to have it done, but we've decided it needs to be moved up to April 1st. I've gotten a few comments about that date...

Anyway, I have some things to take care of. I just wanted to get this post up so everyone was up to date.

4 little words...

2008-02-14T11:51:00.001-06:00

PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT!!!!!

I'm Proud

2008-02-11T09:58:00.001-06:00

One of my best friends sent me this video. This friend is a passionate secularist and a political progressive.

The video makes me proud to be a progressive and proud to be a Christian. This is the first time I can ever remember being both at the same time.

The video is 40 minutes long but well worth the time. I'm not sure when it was taken but I don't think the content would change much if the speech were given today.

Here we go again!

2008-02-05T13:16:00.000-06:00

A big day today. Election day, school starts and tomorrow is my first Ash Wednesday as clergy. I'll end up at church for about 12 hours tomorrow. We do imposition of ashes, Eucharist, in the morning, a midday service and an Ash Wednesday service tomorrow night.

An interesting discussion is starting in my theology class. (Pneumatology, Ecclesiology and Eschatology, or P. E & E for short.) Today we learned about the idea that total depravity is not the way of humanity. I must admit, this was refreshing for me. Despite everything I've learned about the evil of man. I have never been able to give up on a high anthropology. I've always felt that we have a spark of the divine in us. Its nice to know that a German Theologian agrees with me.

Jurgen Moltmann talks about the Holy Spirit as not being only relevatory. In other words, The Holy Spirit is not something that we simply experience, it is something we are in relationship with. And to be in relationship with something implies that there is a bit of that thing in us. Therefore, if we are part of the relationship with the Holy Spirit, we have some of it in us. And it is this part that goads on on and moves us toward perfection.

I see some echoes of Bonhoeffer's concept of Costly Grace in this as well as some of the Social Justice directives of Wesley. Ultimately, it is this bit of divinity that is in all of us that gets of off our butts and motivates us to make this world a better place. Moreover, to not do something is a denial of that divinity that rivals the denial of Peter.

So, go vote!

MLK

2008-01-16T13:58:00.000-06:00

A few months ago, I posted the text of Dr. King's I Have a Dream speech. See it here.

Today I went to a lecture at school by Rev. Mark Dennis

Rev. Dennis discussed Dr. King's legacy and some of his management techniques. He compared and contrasted them to Barak Obama's. Very favorably compared them I might add. A classmate (Young Ashley, for those of you who've heard my stories.) said. "I want to vote for Obama more now than I did before!"

But anyway, the prime point of the lecture that I took away was that both Obama and King had spiritual advisers. The both had/have Pastors to help them along. This is the way Pastors can be agents of change.

Dr. King had "Daddy King" as MLK Sr. was called by those close to them. MLK also had Rev. Dr. Benjamin Elijah Mays, who would eulogize King shortly after that day in April.

Senator Obama has Rev. Dr. Jeremiah Wright of Trinity UCC in Chicago.

The contributions of these men were and are critical to the success of King and Obama. Rev. Dennis spoke us about the importance of training seminarians to be this type of agents of change. His most pointed comment was that "The world is in need of more Pastors and fewer Preachers."

Dr. King has always been a hero of mine. He's been up there with Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and other crusaders for Justice. But these people are almost like fictional characters. I've never had a real life link to them. Recently I was privileged to hear Rev. Martin Deppy tell stories about his work with Dr. King when Dr. King moved his family to Chicago.

One of Martin Deppy's closest friends, (indeed, Deppy described him as his brother), is Jerry Forshey. The last time I had surgery, Jerry, a retired United Methodist minister, was a great source of comfort to my lovely wife (girlfriend at the time) Mo. Jerry has cancer and is not expected to live to see the end of the year. He has asked me to help him to write some of his stories of his involvement in the Civil Rights movement. I've already heard stories about what happened to Jerry when he was marching and a number of people including Dr. King were hit with thrown bricks. I've heard stories about Jerry's involvement in the effort to desegregate the Methodist church. I hope to hear more soon. I'm sure I'll be writitng about it in some format. If not here, then somewhere.

It is an obvious honor to be asked to help someone carry out a dying wish. But there is another level to this. This gives me a living link to one of my heroes. I've sat and talked with two men who were privileged confidants of one of the greatest figures in American History. It has been almost two weeks since I was asked to do this and I'm still processing it. I'll let you know how it goes.

Seasonal Depression Antidote

2008-01-11T09:11:00.000-06:00

I've taken a hiatus. But I have some new projects to work on and some old, overdue ones to finish. So, I need to clear out the cobwebs and break the writers block I've had for a while. I also usually spend most of January in bed, hibernating. I'm always down this time of year, as is most of everyone else. This morning I, as usual was "flipping through" the online version of the Chicago Tribune. and I came across the picture below. It goes on my list of cutest things ever and it made me smile for , what seems like the first time since Christmas. (Except of course for the constant smile that comes from being around Mo. She's been wonderful as usual. I'll never understand how she puts up with my foul moods, but she does. She really does love me.) Anyway, enough of that. Here's the picture. (It's a baby Polar Bear.)

Parrot Cage: A review

2007-11-19T23:05:00.002-06:00

Lovely wife Mo and I actually went out on a date last weekend! We try to do this every weekend but because of limited energy and limited funds, we've been spending a lot of "date nights" on the couch with take out Thai food and Tivo. Things have been especially busy and stressful for both of us lately. Perhaps that explains my absence from blogging. But I digress...

There is a show on public TV here that we love called "Check Please!" It is a restaurant review show with an interesting twist. (Go here to learn more.) While watching the show, we learned about Parrot Cage. So, long story short, we made a reservation and went.

We had a wonderful dinner and a really wonderful date. We finished off the evening driving up Michigan Ave looking at tourists and Christmas lights. Every time we do something like this we remember how much we love this city and how happy we are we live here. (I also remember how proud I am of LWM and her work to make it such a great city!) But my pride in and love for my wife and our city is another digression.

Parrot Cage is the restaurant of the Washburn Culinary Institute cooking school which is part of the City Colleges of Chicago.

Now, Chicago is arguably one of the great culinary cities in the world. Some of the greatest chefs in the world have restaurants here. There is also a wide variety of cuisine here. I am confident that if you look hard enough, you can find cuisine from almost every part of the world here. The reason I start this paragraph this way is to explain the context of food in Chicago. We have one of the top 20 restaurants in the world here. I've not eaten at Trotter's but I've eaten at places of similar caliber: TRU.

In other words, world class restaurants are available in this city and these are what I consider to be A+. There are only a few other places that I've been to that are close. Parrot Cage is not one of them. But it was very good. It gets a good solid B- (To further explain my grading system Fireside gets a C+, Applebee's etc a D and any fast food place a D-. To get an F, I must walk out without eating and never go back. Fazoli's pizza comes to mind. but again, I digress.) I would really like to go back to Parrot cage and eat there again. Maybe then I'll give a complete review. What is more interesting to me is the setting. Parrot Cage is in the South Shore Cultural center. It is a fascinating place. Read more about it here, here and here.

Originally, it was a country club. As was true of way too many places, it was a members only club open only to white Christians. (Possibly only Protestants, but perhaps not, given the nature of Chicago.) What was really funny was that the country club closed and sold the buildings to the city in 1975. They could have kept it open but they would have had to allow blacks to join. They'd rather see the place fall apart instead. So it did. Now, over 30 years later, the place is coming alive again. It is showing its age, but it is still beautiful.

What was really funny? When we first arrived, Mary and I were the only white people there. The only reason we had an opportunity to see it? Kennedy-King College. That funny sound? some white guy rolling over in his grave...

Perhaps sometime I'll write about more about race, and my history with it. Perhaps I'll write about why it was strange that I was happy to be in a place where I was the minority for a change (or how that, despite the population of a given place, a white person being a minority is really never possible) But, this is a restaurant review.

It's 2 A.M. and I've been thinking...

2007-11-01T02:20:00.000-05:00

Sounds like a Country & Western song right? Well. it was 13 years ago at about this time of the night when I heard the words, "You won't survive." Pretty dramatic. But made all the more so given the context. I was flat on my back, on a gurney, looking up at a gloved and masked surgeon. He had just told me how he was going to open my sternum and replace the part of my aorta that had just ruptured. Even now, reading these words on the screen as I type, it is a surreal concept to think that it happened. The concept of opening a human chest to replace part of a heart with some Gore-Tex and a hunk of plastic and carbon fiber... The thought that I survived this... I've pictured the anatomy. I've run through the process in my head. I know the biology of this event. But it still makes no sense. It shouldn't have happened this way. I really should not be alive...

As I take a sip of my tea (Yes Mom, It's Decaf.) and consider where this post is going next, i re-read the first paragraph and my internal editor says: "My. Aren't we being melodramatic and self indulgent tonight." Well, editor. Shut up. I've earned it.

Everyone always asks. "What are you doing for Halloween?" It's as reflexive as asking that about New Years Eve. My answer has always been "Hiding under my bed!" But not this year.

I put up a post a few days ago about getting a collar and finally committing to the ordination process. Well, today, on the anniversary of my death. (sorry editor, I know that comment is melodramatic and self indulgent but I'm a little too amused with myself for writing it to leave it out.) Anyway, on this day where I've always thought about the past, I took a giant step in a very strange and new direction. I wore a collar through the streets of the city that has become my adulthood home. I went to the church. I served the Eucharist. I prayed over people, laying my hands on them. Just two years ago I wasn't even going to church. Today I'm working toward becoming the church's ordained representative. I'm helping people, through prayer and a 2000 year old ritual to get closer to God and "the community of Saints" All of this, on the day of my death. All of this on All Hallows Eve, the night before the celebration and remembrance of the souls who have gone before us. All of this on Samhainn, the Celtic festival of the dead. All of these days celebrate transition. A transition between phases of life and changes of season. Today has always been a day of transition for me. Today I added another.

I guess I could rattle on here and make some profound theological comment about serving communion, the Eucharist, the ritual celebrating Jesus' ressurection as my first act as clergy, and doing it on the day that I 'cheated death" (How's THAT for a melodramatic flourish.). Prehaps if I really worked at it I could figure out someway to link Halloween/Samhain/All Saints Day , my first communion as clergy (Which, truth be told, was actually almost a month ago. Today was the second, although it was my first day in a collar.) and the anniversary of my surgery. I could link all these rhetorically, then point out that it is three elements. Three, a triangle, the architecturally perfect number, the number of the Trinity. I could point out how this coming together of elements in this number of strength mirrors how strongly I feel that this is the right path. I could do all of this, but, my tea is cold, my bed is warm with Lovely Wife Mo sleeping peacefully in it, and it is now 3:15 A.M and I've stopped thinking...

Winston on my Essay Question & my response

2007-10-31T06:14:00.000-05:00

Tinman-
I think that a sin is a transgression against another person that offends God. Sinning can be putting your comfort ahead of another’s need, your desires over another’s humanity, or your beliefs over compassion. At least these things can lead to sinful acts. There is no law made by men that the breaking of is sinful in and of itself, although many of the laws of men do punish sinful acts. Sin is between the sinner, the one sinned against, and God.

This is why I find the definition contained in the quote so limiting-one does not need to contemplate the eternal to sin. What she is describing here is one of the ways in which humans may sin-imposing their will over others in the arrogant belief that their desires are divine. Mistaking oneself for God is only one way in which one may sin. Rape and murder are always sins. Torture is only one of the other myriad crimes humans inflict upon each other that are sins. One need not mistake themselves for God to do any of these things (though I do acknowledge that the nature of these crimes implies a rampant egomania on the part of the sinner, this is not the same thing as mistaking one’s limited perception for the eternal).

I also disagree with the author’s assessment of human nature. It seems dim. Humans are basically compassionate, intelligent and cooperative. It is the sin of the world that beats us into the shape we regard so scornfully. If we dislike what the world has wrought in us then in changing ourselves we may in some small way change the world. Sin is not inevitable despite it’s popularity. I am not suggesting that anyone is without sin or incapable of sin (quite the opposite, in fact), but what I am saying is that none of us must commit any particular sin at any particular time. It is always an individual choice.
-WD

My response:

Winston:
I’ve just awakened and have not yet had coffee. (I’m up early. I’m “on duty” and “in uniform” later.) But I’ll try to be lucid. I’m surprised you find Dr. Cooper-White’s definition limited. If anything, I thought it might be a bit over broad. You wrote “What she is describing here is one of the ways in which humans may sin-imposing their will over others in the arrogant belief that their desires are divine.” Perhaps I have the advantage of having read the whole book, but she really isn’t talking about individual sin. She’s talking more broadly without using the term “original sin.” She says that the fundamental problem of humanity is its arrogance. We think that we have “The Truth” when only God can have that. This fundamental misunderstanding of the way of the universe leads to an individual’s imposition of their will over others.

I was interested in your view of Cooper-White’s view of “original sin”/ human nature. You discussed that in your final paragraph. It is a bit dim in that she argues from the point of view of the depravity of humanity, but she’s not quite Augustinian about it! She seems to allow for us to approach divinity through mutual understanding, empathy and compassion. She certainly would agree with your comment “Humans are basically compassionate, intelligent and cooperative.” Her entire professional identity is based on the premise you describe when you write “If we dislike what the world has wrought in us then in changing ourselves we may in some small way change the world.” (She is a professor and practitioner of Pastoral Care and Counseling at Lutheran Theo. Seminary in Philly.) I think that comment of yours is sort of a mission statement for those in my business. I think the only fundamental difference of opinion we have is about the inevitability of sin. I believe to be human means we will sin. Perhaps we don’t have to “commit any particular sin at any particular time.” But we will commit some sin at some time. We are simply made that way. After all, if we were fundamentally perfect, why would we need God?

Exam for my readers.

2007-10-26T10:27:00.001-05:00

In her book Shared Wisdom, Pamela Cooper-White writes:

Perhaps this is as good a definition of sin as any- that by nature we humans must inevitably collapse back into our own limited perception and then mistake it for the eternal.

-Discuss

For those of you following the discussion on spirituality at Sheep Days please discuss how spirituality affects this.

Who am I and What do I want to be when I grow up?

2007-10-23T13:46:00.000-05:00

Lots of stuff going on today. I just made my first Pastoral Call. It was a phone call to someone that Lovely wife Mo knows well. He was of great help to her during my recent health crises. It is somewhat incorrect to think of him as a parishioners. He's retired clergy and was a major player in Chicago's civil rights movement. Luckily, someone is helping him write some of these things down. So, he's meeting with this guy tomorrow and that would be my only chance to get out and see him. So, no face to face meeting, but a nice phone conversation.

Another odd thing. I finally bought The Uniform. Yep, I've got a collar. I'm not quite sure when and where I'll wear it yet. It was just a big step for me to buy it. It's sort of an admission that this is really happening. I'm really going to be ordained. I've got a picture. I sent it to Mo. What is really odd. It's not as odd as I thought it would be.

Happy Monday.

2007-10-22T09:06:00.001-05:00

Yuck. Ya'll know how much I love Mondays. This one is even worse than ususal. I've been feeling rotten all weekend. (For my regular worriers, yes I did call the Dr. He told me to get some rest, drink lots of water etc. and call him later this week if I'm still not well. It's probably the beta-blockers again. We'll get 'em adjusted. Not a big deal.)
So, while I was at church yesterday, (before we left, earlier than usual, because I was ill) I got drafted into teaching a class on the Lectionary today. (Joel 2:23-32, Psalm 65, 2 Timothy 4:6-18, Luke 18:9-14) The director of Christian Ed has also been having some illness and has a Dr. appointment. So, she gave me her outline.

So, here I am this morning sitting here in the church library with my OT and NT texts trying to remember what some professors said about Joel and Timothy those many weeks ago. And yes, I'm complaining about it. So, the church secretary comes in to make coffee and I start to chat with her, then Pastor C. who does the Pastoral Care, primarily with the Homeless, comes in. He says "One of our guys is outside, he's not eaten all weekend, all I had in my briefcase was some candy." We rummaged around and as usual around here, a loaves and fishes miracle occurred. We found some leftovers from Sunday coffee hour. The person who usually cleans up the kitchen didn't. We found some cinnamon rolls and some bread for our guy and gave him some breakfast.

I guess I got my gospel lesson this morning. Now, to prepare one for my noon class...

Post Script:
OK I've finished reading the lectionary passages. The Gospel for the day? Luke 18:9-14 The Pharisee and the Tax Collector. Here's the punch line: (parenthetical comments are mine)
I tell you, this man (the hated and reviled tax collector) went down to his home justified rather than the other; (the pharisee/church elder) for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.
Luke 18: 14.

Insert standard excuses...

2007-10-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

...for not writing.

Here's an interesting story from todays Chicago Tribune. It's sad, tragic really, but strangely beautiful.
Even quiet deaths can have some heroism
by Kurt Ullrich

Everyone else isn't doing it...

2007-10-08T14:04:00.001-05:00

neither am i!

Seems like several of my Blog friends (see my links section) took or are still taking a break. Well, I have been too. I've not been simply sleeping. I've been doing stuff. Hopefully, I'll get back into my routine and will be able to tell you more about what I've been up to.

Here's a short list of things I need to write about. Most of them are still "not soup" or at least not soup enough for me to serve them. Or, more accurately, since most of what I do in this space is make soup, I still have to prep the veggies. Here's a list of soups that will fill the kettle in the coming days. Perhaps I should leave it to you to tell me what to write about first!?!

List for entries

I served communion, acted as clergy for the first time and got called "Father"
I prepared as liturgist/ supporting clergy for the first time and wrote my first "prayers of the people."

These two seem related, but one is more spiritual the other more practical.

Hospital Stay
Chronic Pain
Nihilism v. Existentialism
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy and the Homeless. Is it possible?
General discussion of FUMC-CT's homeless ministry

FUMC-CT= First United Methodist Church at the Chicago Temple. It's my church and my current "appointment"

The UMC ordination process and my ambivalence toward it
READER"S CHOICE!

I have an opinion on just about everything, what do you want to hear me pontificate about?

While you're deciding, take a look at this blog. It's pretty cool!

Thoughts on ordination

2007-09-25T14:50:00.000-05:00

I've really been struggling with the whole ordination thing since I started seminary. I've had a glimpse of what must occur for me to become ordained in the UMC. It a'int pretty. It is long, difficult, political process, full of hoops to jump through; hoops which can only be justified by the phrase, everyone else has had to do it! And at any time, for any reason, at the mere whim of those in authority, your application can stall, you can be forced to repeat a part, returned to the beginning of the process or simply kicked out. In short, there is a lot of nonsense associated with it. (You probably know what word I really wanted to use, but I can't bring myself to using that word to discuss something that SHOULD be holy.)

The process is awful. But I've also not been sure of my "call." I sit in church or class or chapel at school with great preachers and theologians. {Some of them are even faculty :) ! } I have so many class with people who know so much more about theology and the bible etc. So many of my classmates are so secure in their faith. I know that most everyone here has doubts, and if they don't, they probably aren't paying attention. But I can't speak for them. I can only speak for me. I simply don't know what I believe. I don't know that I can be a representative of God on earth. After all, isn't that what being ordained is all about? When we put on the collar, aren't we saying that we are set aside by God for a higher purpose?

In the past, when I didn't understand a concept I'd ask my mother. She invariably would say, "Look it up!"

So I did. The Oxford English Dictionary has a number of definitions for ordination. Here are some of my favorites:

Arrangement in orders or classes; classification.
The action or fact of being destined (to an end or purpose); designated or ordained function; purpose, design, or disposition
A thing which is ordained; an ordinance, decree, statute, law; a prescribed observance

There was nothing in there about being ordained by God. Obviously, there was an entry for ordination by the church. But nothing in there about ordination by God. At first, that may seem like a distinction without a difference. After all, isn't the church an extension of God on earth? Well yes, sorta. But to think that the church is the only way God communicates to me is to limit God. Part of my problem has been my expectation of a divine voice coming through the sky to tell me that I'm special and that I need to be ordained. Well, as it turns out, Ashbrook's comment "We are no different than those that come to us." (Ashbrook, James. Minding the Soul: Pastoral Counseling as Remembering. Fortress Press,

1996.) while initially intended to discuss the "wounded healer" nature of pastoral caregivers, it has something to say about ordination too.

Everyone has a calling. My lovely wife Mo is called to be an attorney, and to be my partner; My mom was called to be a teacher, wife, mother, musician; Dad was called to serve his country, be a father, serve his church; my sister to be a nurse and mother. I've always known I was called to help people. I just have never known exactly how. Turns out, I'm called to be a Pastoral caregiver, probably as a chaplain. I'm called to use my understanding of theology (as unbelievably limited as it is) and my understanding of counseling theory and human nature to help people deal with incredibly difficult situations. To be bothered by the prospect of going through all of the nonsense required to become ordained by the church is to be unfaithful to that calling. The church is imperfect. The church is limited. The church is broken. But there is no other entity that I have ever been involved with that has a mission statement of helping people and making the world a better place. There is no other organization I can be a part of that will so effectively help me live out my calling. So, despite the difficulty, despite the arbitrariness, despite the nonsense. I'll pursue ordination as UMC clergy. Not because I'm called to be a minister, but because I'm called to help people and that is the best way for me to live out that calling.

An interesting Post Script. an hour and a half after I wrote this, I got a call from the church where I am doing a Pastoral Care internship. Every Wednesday morning for 7:30 to 9:00 they serve communion. The clergy take turns. Due to a last minute scheduling change, they didn't have anyone to cover the last 45 minutes. So, tomorrow, for the first time ever I will serve communion. Moreover, I'll be functioning as a member of the clergy. Robe and everything...

educating a heretic

2007-09-19T10:45:00.000-05:00

History last night and Pastor as Counselor yesterday morning and my brain is fried.

What's funny is that this morning I turned on the TV and randomly flipped the channel and it landed on a televangelist. In less than a minute, I figured out his was a particular brand of Gnosticism with a nice blend of prosperity gospel. Buy his secret knowledge and god will reward you. If only...

Reminds me of a quote from a U2 song.

"The God I pray to isn't short of cash, mister!"

At least Bono has the energy to be pissed off. Me, I'm still struggling to put words to my beliefs. To get ordained, I have to be able to explain who Jesus is and why it's important. Shoot, to pass History 1 I need to be able to answer that question. But I'm just not sure. I've never REALLY understood Jesus. I certainly get the Jesus as man part. I like Jesus: Feed the poor, do the right thing. Speak truth to power, all that stuff. But I just don't get the divinity part yet. Turns out I'm an Ebionite (an ascetic, vegetarian Jew who adheres to the teachings of Jesus but denies his divinity). Who knew.

Funny thing is that heresy went out in the 2nd century. Except for the Unitarians. I could go there, but their buildings are so boring!

So, a nap; some food; and I keep plugging away. Luckily today I've got a bit of time to revisit 2nd century heresies. Maybe I'll learn something and my thinking might catch up with the third century.

Somebody wake up Tertullian. He's got some 'splaining to do!

Theolgians

2007-09-18T15:37:00.001-05:00

In her blog today BesoMami wrote a very cute story about her son. It was filled with a number of personal observations but the punchline was when her son said. "Mom, Jesus Loves you!"

Nurse Joy then made a comment that her daughter frequently sings "Jesus loves you!"

Kids.

My sister frequently makes the comment that she doesn't "get" a lot of what I write about and study. As I wrote in my comment to Alex and Joy, I spend my days with seminarians, I think their kids get it more than the seminarians do! They certainly get it better than me.

I'm banging my head against my desk trying to work on Freud and transference issues. Is Jesus simply a perfect father figure who gives us unconditional love created by us in response to our own broken nature which is caused by a failure to adequately work through early childhood developmental stages?

My head hurts. God must be punishing me for my blasphemy. Either that, or I've been staring at this screen for too long.

Either way, I'll rest and hopefully not get struck by lightning before class tonight.

That reminds me of another cartoon.

A Funny thing.

2007-09-13T03:50:00.000-05:00

I got this from a classmates blog. I just thought this was hilarious. Maybe it's the combination of insomnia and pain meds.

..

Spoon Theory

2007-09-12T15:36:00.000-05:00

It's been a while. Sorry. I'm getting used to my new schedule and dealing with the usual beginning of the semester BS. All of this costs a greater amount of spoons than usual.

I realize that doesn't make sense. Read this and you'll understand.

Gotta go to class. More about spoons later.

RIP Luciano

2007-09-06T11:05:00.000-05:00

Another of my childhood heroes died today. Some folks have baseball players. I have Italian Tenors. Yes, I am that much of a nerd. But his voice was pure magic.

I've been very busy with the first week of school. (I'm already two weeks behind!) So I don't have much time to write today. But take a moment today and just listen.

44 years ago today

2007-08-28T10:02:00.000-05:00

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

And when this happens, When we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

For Video: Go here

Thanks to Stanford University , and this site for the text.

It's been a few days...

2007-08-23T10:08:00.000-05:00

since I've written.
I've been cranky, moody and grumpy. My three favorite elves.

One of my favorite TV shows features someone else who is frequently in the same mood. It's a travel show featuring a New York chef who's narcissistic, misanthropic, atheistic and in may ways generally unpleasant. Oh, and he hates vegetarians. Sounds like he and I would get along famously. (What's really funny is re-reading that description, it sounds like a description that would match a few of my closest friends!)

In a recent show on French Polynesia, Bourdain followed the travels of the painter Paul Gauguin. I've never really liked Gauguin, don't really know why. I've seen a bunch of his stuff at the Art Institute, It's nice, great colors, interesting subject, but it never really excited me.

In the show, Bourdain travels to the Marguesas Islands. He meets with some of the indigenous Maori. His guide gives him a tour of some archaeological sites on the island. The guide shows Bourdain some wonderful stone statues that sat in the temples. Of course, they had been damaged and many destroyed by the Christian missionaries that came to save the souls of the heathens.

Gauguin is alternately described in the episode by Bourdain as a "dope fiend" "syphilitic" "pederast" "transvestite" and a few other things I choose not to remember. Yet Gauguin, who wouldn't even be allowed in the front door many churches then or today, recognized, and captured the inherent divinity of what surrounded him. The missionaries tried only to destroy what surrounded them in order to replace it with their own version. As a result, 95% of the indigenous population was wiped out by disease or violence. Fortunately, we have the work of as, Bourdain described him, "a cranky, syphilitic, pederast," to remind us of the beauty of God's creation. Isn't it funny that the artist preserved the divine which the church had tried to destroy?
Paul Gauguin
Day of the God (Mahana no Atua)
1894
Oil on canvas
26 7/8 x 36 in. (68.3 x 91.5 cm)
Art Institute of Chicago
Wildenstein Gauguin 1964 513 Helen Birch Bartlett Memorial Collection
1926.198
Medieval to Modern European Painting and Sculpture
Gallery 234b

Thoughts on the war

2007-08-19T12:17:00.000-05:00

As I write this, an F-18 is rattling my windows and setting off car alarms. It's the air show. In Baghdad, that F-18 would be carrying ordnance and be on its way to blow something up.

Meanwhile, I read this.

Guilty Pleasure

2007-08-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Air and Water show is this weekend. Given that I'm a liberal, vegetarian, latte drinking intellectual pacifist, I should be sitting with the folks who come out every year to protest this advertisement for the military industrial complex.

But I'm not. We may take a break from housework, walk down to the beach to watch. Running errands yesterday I saw the A/C... (sorry, old habit, A/C is the industry abbreviation for aircraft. I spent too many years in aviation law!)

Anyway, on the way to Costco, I saw the plane I've most wanted to see fly right over us.

The F22 Raptor

It's an amazing aircraft. Built by Boeing and Lockheed-Martin.

Yes, I understand that it was designed to shoot down other airplanes and kill the people inside, which then makes it easier for Bombers and support a/c to get to their targets, thus killing more people. I realize that and it bothers me. A little.

But it is so cool! When it went over, I could clearly see the thrust vectoring engines. What was really amazing, was how quiet it was. He was at about 2,ooo feet, flew right over us and I could barely hear it. Earlier in the day, at a similar altitude, (and probably a bit higher) an F-18 Super Hornet almost broke the windows of our condo. Any lower, he would've set off car alarms.

Anyway, I've got chores to start on. We'll see about going to the beach today. I'll let you know how I do with my contradictions. I wrote a piece in college called "Playing Soldier" that explains it a bit. If I can find it, maybe I'll post it. In the meantime, I'm gonna open the windows so I can hear the jets better. I'll leave you with this.

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.): Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself"

Being Sick Sucks Part III, The Backlash!

2007-08-16T15:16:00.000-05:00

Thanks for your comments. Lovely wife found the American Heart Association classification.

Class III. Patients with cardiac disease resulting in marked limitation of physical activity. They are comfortable at rest. Less than ordinary activity causes fatigue, palpitation, dyspnea, or anginal pain.	C. Objective evidence of moderately severe cardiovascular disease.
Class IV. Patients with cardiac disease resulting in inability to carry on any physical activity without discomfort. Symptoms of heart failure or the anginal syndrome may be present even at rest. If any physical activity is undertaken, discomfort is increased.	D. Objective evidence of severe cardiovascular disease.

Sounds like I might qualify. We'll see what Dr. Love says tomorrow.

Being sick sucks part II

2007-08-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

I just went to talk to the Dean of Students. I've been sending both deans email trying to keep them updated on the whole potential surgery thing. Now that I'm not having it done, I went to talk with DoS. I wanted to thank her personally. She wanted to talk about how she could make things easier for me. The issue of parking came up. Parking at school could be politely described as a nightmare. Frequently last semester I had to walk over half a mile just to get to the building. It's a nice walk. But it is much less so dragging a book bag. It becomes downright dangerous doing it in the winter. So, DoS suggested I use the Handicapped parking space. Lovely wife Mo has mentioned the same thing. Naturally, I totally disagree with both of them.

I'm not really sure why I am so resistant to the idea. In private discussions, I frequently bemoan the fact that I don't look like I have a serious health problem. It bothers me when Lovely Wife carries heavy stuff and I walk behind her empty handed. It really isn't a macho thing. I guess what bothers me is that when you look at us, it looks like I'm just being a jerk! People might question my upbringing. Believe me, I have an older sister who made it perfectly clear that I was to open doors for her. My father is also rather "Old School" in that way. My Mother is from the Carolinas; She's a true Southern Lady! So, believe me, I was "Raised Right!" I've always been proud of being a gentleman. (Lovely Wife would tell you that I've gotten out of the habit and no longer open car doors for her. I intend to remedy that.)
So, if I appeared to be as "disabled" or "handicapped" as I am, people might understand why LWM carries stuff. They also might understand me better in general.

So, back to the parking thing. It makes a bit of sense for me to get the permit. But I'm a bit conflicted. I'm not sure if I qualify. I guess I'll let the Dr. determine that. I certainly don't need it every day. It is only really a problem during the winter. It also just bothers me to think about parking in one of those spots and getting out and simply walking away from the car. It is all just so frustrating; It's just another thing to be angry about...

"Being sick sucks..."

2007-08-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

My lovely wife Mo sent me a link the other day. Professional Patient wrote:

I had an “aha!” moment recently. I realized that I have been desperately waiting for someone to recognize how brave I am, and let me know they are proud of me for being so brave. Being sick sucks… why can't someone realize how brave you MUST be to deal with it day after day?

I've given that recognition to myself with the following list of affirmations. I'm sharing it with you in case you, too, are looking for someone somewhere to pat you on the back for being a brave girl or boy!

Her affirmations are wonderful.

I am lucky to have a ton of people around who are very affirming and loving. When I sent out an email letting people know about the possibility of surgery. I got a lot of love back. But I still need affirmation. Her list was very helpful.

I found out last night that I won't be having surgery. This prompted me to add one to her list:
You are brave when you are disappointed that you are not having surgery!

I am a bit disappointed. But, I'm also a bit thankful. We can get on with our lives now with no interruption.

I have frequently said that serious illness is just as hard and in some ways harder on the family than it is on the patient. After all, I get narcotics! :) I think my family and friends deserve a list of affirmations too.

You are brave when you spend more time in doctors offices for somebody else's checkup than you do for your own.
You are brave when you know where the waiting room in every hospital in town is.
You are brave when you know your husband 's medical history as well as your own.
You are brave when you worry about outliving your child.
You are brave when you take a midnight road trip to visit a friend in an ICU 300 miles away.
You are brave when your little brother asks you to check his IV site.
You are brave when you ask, "Did you take your medicine?"
You are brave when you ask, " How's the pain today?"
You are brave when you say, "Here, let me carry that."

I have a lot of very, very brave people in my life, who make it easier for me to add to Professional Patient's list. I can never say thank you enough. If anybody reads this, maybe they can add some more to my list to help me say thank you...

I LOVE THIS TOWN!!!!

2007-08-09T15:06:00.000-05:00

Cop writes a ticket for giant sausage

Tribune photo by Kevin Pang, August 9, 2007

A Chicago police officer tickets the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile in the 400 block of North Michigan Avenue.

By Kevin Pang | Tribune staff reporter

In a rare occurrence of an encased meat vehicle committing a traffic violation, Chicago police ticketed the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile for illegal parking on the Magnificent Mile.

The incident began at 10:57 a.m. in the 400 block of North Michigan Avenue. At least two members of the Wienermobile entourage left the vehicle in the three-lane street with its emergency blinkers on. The vehicle is registered to Kraft Foods under the Wisconsin license plate "WEENR."

A police officer approached the Chevrolet vehicle with the 27-foot fiberglass sausage and removable bun roof. The officer radioed for a tow truck.

Matt Smith of the city's Streets and Sanitation department said the city could handle the job.

"We have access to tow trucks that could have handled a Polish sausage, not just a hot dog," he said.

The officer wrote the ticket and affixed it with considerable relish to its foot-long side mirror. Ed Walsh, a spokesman for the city Department of Revenue, said parking in a "Parking/Standing Prohibited Anytime" zone is a $50 violation.

About 15 minutes later, as curious passersby snapped pictures with their camera phones, the driver and passenger of the vehicle returned before tow trucks could arrive.

The entourage received a verbal scolding from the officer.

"You can't just park here!" the officer barked.

One passenger, who declined to be identified, said they were visiting a Wienermobile alumnus who worked nearby but was unaware that one could not park a giant sausage in the middle of the city's busiest thoroughfare.

Kraft Foods did not return a call for comment. The hot dog was last seen driving north on Michigan.

kpang@tribune.com

Theodicy Redux

2007-08-09T09:16:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Winston, whom I adore, has an interesting hobby. He likes to discuss things with people he's never met! He spends a lot of time on the 'net with his own blog. He also makes comments on others'. Recently, he's been discussing Theodicy. He's posted a couple of pieces. His most recent started as a comment made on another blogger's site which then moved to his. The discussion spans several pages and two or three different sites. It is fascinating, long, rather technical and for the most part, rather well written. The initial comment was about a video that I didn't watch. I was more interested in the discussion. As usual, Winston got me thinking. (Although I admit, I'm a bit preoccupied with the issue of God's justice and suffering right now. I must say, I'm still a little mad at "Him!")

I think the problem of evil/suffering is the most difficult question Christians/Theologians/People of Faith face. For many, it seems a rather simple discussion. The simplest position is that God causes/allows bad things to happen because we are evil. My sister (who steadfastly maintains she is not a theologian and knows very little about the Bible) articulated the criticism of that position saying, "Isn't that the Old Testament God? What about the whole Jesus, God is Love thing?" (Not a theologian. Yeah, right!)

Anyway,

Both of these positions, in their absolute forms have limitations. Most arguments on this issue invariably degenerate into various levels of proof-texting. Some arguments are better than others. But usually, these discussions generate much more heat than light. (This is not to say that I think these discussions shouldn't occur; far from it. I am a Wesleyan after all.)

The bottom line: I don't know why bad things happen. I wrote about suffering previously. I'll continue to write about it. My ministry is entirely dedicated to it. It doesn't get me any closer to an answer. But what helps me is to know that God knows. What's more, God has a purpose.

A professor says simply "God works for good in everything." I firmly believe that. I would've gone insane long ago if I hadn't. I don't know why bridges collapse. I don't know why 18 year olds die from mysterious diseases. I don't know why people I love are in pain. I don't know why I have faulty parts. But God does. God has a reason for all of this.

Now, that sort of begs the question. Couldn't God figure out a way to accomplish his goal without all the suffering? After all, were, talking about God! I have at least 5 books on my bookshelf that work on answering that question. They are all written by folks much smarter than me. I won't summarize their arguments here. (That's way too much like schoolwork!) There are also some Bible verses that work on that question. But I won't quote scripture at you. (I've already criticized proof-texting.) But I do believe one thing that helps me.

I believe God suffers with us.

Gods sits next to us, puts an arm around us, and helps us cry.

Finally!

2007-08-08T10:09:00.000-05:00

My fellow baseball fans, our long national nightmare is over!

Getty Images Photo by Justin Sullivan ( August 7, 2007)

Now we can get back to worrying about the playoffs. And hopefully, the only time I'll have to hear the word steroids is when they are prepping me for another CT scan. For the record, I'm pleased for Barry and for the Giants and their fans. It is appropriate and just that the record was broken in San Francisco where Bonds has been supported throughout this controversy. I am saddened that the controversy overshadowed the accomplishment. Now I hope we can put all this behind us and enjoy the game again.

I realize that the quote I stole from President Ford was about a crisis a bit more important than whether or not Barry cheated. But Barry's record, the history of problems in the Tour de France, and the state of political discourse and just about everything else in the newspaper makes me wonder about the status of truth.

While I was visiting my family last weekend, I made one of the off the cuff , pot-stirring comments that my classmates, if not my family, have come to expect from me. Frequently, I am not sure if my comments actually reflect my opinion, but they usually start some pretty good conversations! In this case, it was:

Since ultimate truth is unknowable, the only thing that matters is what one believes.

So what does all this have to do with baseball? I grew up and continue to be a passionate baseball fan. My favorite player as a kid was Lou Brock. I had posters in my room with pictures of him setting the career stolen base record. Of course, Rickey Henderson would break it a few years later. But if you ask me today who the greatest base stealer of all time was, I'll say Lou Brock! Perhaps this is why I'm not so terribly upset by Barry breaking the record. It'll be broken in a few years. Maybe by A-Rod, maybe by Ryan Howard. What won't change is how people feel about Hank Aaron or whoever else they hold as a hero. And maybe that is a good thing.

a picture

2007-08-07T09:46:00.000-05:00

I've got too much going on in my head to really be able to slow my thoughts down enough to capture them on the keyboard. Maybe later today I'll come up with something. But for now, perhaps this will makes me and you feel a bit better.

From Mom's rosebush:

Quite a weekend.

2007-08-06T17:19:00.000-05:00

Saw my surgeon, spent the weekend with my parents. Got honored by my mother church with a scholarship. Had a CT this morning and am full of antihistamines and steroids as I have developed an allergy to the CT over all these years. Mo drove us home (all 300 miles of it.)

So, I'm home and I wait for the results. I will need surgery eventually, the question only remains what type and when. It may be a few days, it may be a few years. We'll see what the scan says. Tomorrow, we go back to our regular scheduling programing. Tonight I sleep.

Now, where did I leave that damn oilcan?

The power of prayer?

2007-07-31T09:53:00.000-05:00

I usually spend my mornings with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. This sounds like a pretty normal thing to do, but my morning has a bit of a 21^st century slant to it. I read the Chicago Tribune and the New York Times online version. I also occasionally read the Sun-Times when Mo’s work is mentioned.

Occasionally, I follow a stream of consciousness (if you know me well, you’ll realize that in the mornings, it is a stream of semi-consciousness.) and see where it leads me. Usually, it sends me to Wikipedia. This morning I found myself reading about Saints. My two favorites are St. Francis and St. Jude. St. Francis is my favorite for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that he is my Mother’s favorite. He, or at least a figurine and a picture, plays an important part in keeping my Mom in contact with her sister. I also love and have spent a lot of time working with animals; horses in particular. I’m also a semi-vegetarian (fish and eggs, but no meat or fowl.)

My attraction to St. Jude is a bit more personal. One could say I carry him with me all the time. As many of you know, I have an artificial aortic valve. It is called a St. Jude’s valve. I’ve always thought it was funny to name a heart prosthetic after the patron saint of lost causes! I don’t remember reading his epistle. I need to. But I do know he writes to The Church and tells them to be strong in times of tribulation. I also know, at least in Catholicism, St. Jude is invoked in prayer.

Prayer has always confused me. It has never really made any sense to me. So, for many years, I quit doing it. After a few months in seminary, I began to realize that prayer, like many things in the church, is not really for God, it is for us. Prayer makes us feel better. This actually helped and helped me make some links between Christian prayer and Hindu chanting , Buddhist Meditation etc. It brings us closer to the Divine. It clears our head and opens us to God’s presence.

So, ok, I got that part figure out. But in my morning haze today, I followed a link to The Dominican Shrine of St, Jude in Chicago. I thought that I might find the address of the place and sometime I’d make a pilgrimage of sorts and go to see this church. I love architecture and Chicago history and I think Catholic churches are really cool! So this seems like a good trip to make. What I found on the website was a discussion of prayer. People are invited to leave prayer requests and the priests at the church pray for these people. The tradition then is to thank St. Jude in writing for answered prayers.

So, I’m still confused. Personal prayer and devotion I have figured out. I guess intercessory prayer works on the same level. It makes individuals feel better to know that someone is praying for them. This then helps them to harness their energy and they then create their own miracles. Now, before I get excommunicated, I want to make clear that I think God is involved in this process. My confusion is about where He fits in. (Style note: When discussing my limited understanding of God, I use the masculine pronoun. I fully understand the limiting nature of sexist and non-inclusive language. This limitation is precisely why I use these terms. I know that the very understanding I am discussing is limited; so, using limited language makes sense. Also, I’m too lazy to try and think of another word!)

Does intercessory prayer work? Well, yes sort of. It certainly makes my family feel better when I’m ill. It makes me feel better to know people are concerned about me and have an outlet for that concern. But intercessory prayer for me raises a larger theological question. How does prayer affect God? It seems to me that many people find this to be a simple proposition. They pray; God answers. But how about those folks who don’t get what they prayed for? Their loved one dies in surgery or in the ICU? The treatment doesn’t work etc. What happened? Did they not pray hard enough? If this is so, then they are, in effect, being punished for not praying well enough. What sort of God does that?

Again I find myself bumping up against the same wall: Theodicy. When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Rabbi Kushner is a wonderful book about how to handle these things when they happen. I want to know WHY bad things happen to good people. After a year in seminary, I’m not any closer to finding out. The most honest answer I’ve gotten is from a professor who lost his daughter in a sudden, tragic and rather gruesome accident. He said, “Stuff happens.” I imagine he wanted to say “Shit happens” but he didn’t think that was appropriate language for a seminary class and textbook. But it does happen; and it happens all the time. Is it too much to ask that I understand why? Perhaps that is why they call it faith, and not understanding. Maybe someday that’ll make me feel better. Not today. Right now, I’m heading up to school to talk to the Dean about the possibility I might be out for a while. All I can think of to say is: Pray for me. Maybe that is part of my answer…

When a man's an empty kettle...

2007-07-30T09:54:00.000-05:00

he should be on his mettle.
And yet I'm torn apart.

Something odd I found looking for a good image for this blog. ( I really don't like pics of myself on the 'net. Remember, just because you've been diagnosed as paranoid doesn't mean "They" really aren't out to get you!!!!!!)

http://www.thecardioblog.com/2006/06/16/tin-man-gene-links-corrected-congenital-birth-defects-with-lat/

Yes Virginia, there is a Tinman gene! Funny, I always thought I was the only one clever enough to see the link between the L. Frank Baum character and a bad heart! (Yes. Paranoid and Delusions of Grandeur!)

I imagine that most of you who are reading this already know me and so why this title is interesting. Maybe some day I'll explain it to the HUGE audience that will eventually read this!!!
But for now, it is a way for me to pass the time and blow of steam in the coming days before I find out if I need yet another "procedure" (I love that word. It's &*#$% surgery dammit!) But today, I'll build the blog...